Valentine’s breaks, romantic getaways and honeymoons: love has often inspired us to travel but – thanks to the turbulent lives of tacky celebs – we’ve recently seen how the end of a relationship is in fact the best time to get away from it all… Urban Travel Blog explores travel therapy for the broken-hearted.
It was Toni Terry who started the trend earlier this month, jetting off to Dubai for some winter sun after ‘revelations’ that her husband, Chelsea captain John Terry, had being doing the dirty with a lingerie model behind her back. Everyone knows that footballers’ wives are slaves to new crazes, so perhaps it was no surprise that WAG Queen, Cheryl Cole, jumped behind the reins of the bandwagon and urged it on at full pace to Los Angeles, after it transpired that her own beloved beau, Ashley (…also of Chelsea FC), had been sending saucy pics of his top striker to a rival chavette. Who would have thought it?
Although the public at large might enjoy a laugh at the predictable messes that these material girls get themselves in for with their no-good but filthy rich husbands, the truth is we’ve all picked a wrong ‘un down the line – and usually discovered our mistakes the hard way. And whilst we don’t want to give too much credit to Cheryl and co., their idea of dealing with heartbreak via a holiday has got to be their greatest contribution to society they’ve made thus far (except for maybe this video). So to celebrate the unlikely occasion of WAGs starting a new travel trend Urban Travel Blog have decided to come up with their own list of great getaways for all the jilted Romeos and Juliets out there. From the self-indulgent to the spiritual, with plenty of single shenanigans in between, here are our seven best holidays for getting over your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend… they’re almost worth getting dumped for.
Self Love Island
No, not that type of self love (…although it can’t hurt). In this instance we mean take the chance to treat yourself how your ex should have been treating you, if they weren’t too busy making whoopy with their new colleague from work. Now is the time to book yourself a single room at the Spalmaris Spa resort in Hotel Podstine on the almost Arcadian island of Hvar in Croatia. When you’re not busy getting rubbed down by some Slavic sexpot or getting the princess treatment with a Mediterranean Royal Pedicure, you can always rub bronzed shoulders with Europe’s yachting elite in Hvar harbor. Where better to be revitalized and single?
Retail Remedy in Rome
Spending money on yourself is a good way of reaffirming your self worth in the face of your unceremonious jilting. Especially if it’s with your partner’s credit card, or you’re draining the joint account. Why not head to Rome for a splurging spree – it may not have quite the associations with fashion as Milan does, but you’ll find all the same designer names, plus amazing markets such as Porta Portese and Campo de Fiori. Guys should remember not to use up all your ex’s credit on the first day… after all you’ll want to save a fair few euros for buying champagne for the sultry Italian of your dreams at Bloom club. Whilst girls would be well-advised to die their hair blond and wander around with a map in their hand looking helplessly lost (and single) … the dark handsome strangers will be lining up to whisk you away in their Vespas.
Mead in Manhattan
There’s nothing like a good drinking session to get over an ex… or at least numb the pain for a few blessed beer-soaked hours. If mead is your favourite medicine then ‘hop’ on a plane to New York and sign up for a tour of the Chelsea Brewery, one of the few still operating in Manhattan. Meet Market Adventures organize single tours of this sacred site, giving you an alcohol-fuelled chance of continuing the fun long after last orders has been called on your quest for the Holy Ale.
What you need in a time of emotional crisis is – pun intended – something to focus on. If that thing happens to be a stunning Czech model so much the better. Sign up for a week learning the art of photography with Aclass and not only will you pit your lenses against the amazing architecture of Prague and Brno – two of Europe’s most beautiful cities – but you’ll also learn how to direct a fashion shoot with a Pantene model and Miss Czech finalist, amongst other good lookers! Alternatively, for a one-day experience that will get your shutters in a flutter why not try your hand at photo dating in London?
Art Break City
…a much healthier destination than Heartbreak City for the spurned singleton is balmy Barcelona. Pack your paintbrushes and head over to the Catalan capital where Swiss-born art therapist Cora Egger will teach you how to easel the pain away in her specially-designed LOM studio. According to her studies (and she holds several diplomas in the field) painting can be a very effective tool for externalizing all manner of traumas and drawing a portrait of your ex (presumably so that you can savage it afterwards) can prove surprisingly beneficial. If it doesn’t work then there’s always Barcelona’s sunny beaches, raucous nightlife and plenty of cheap Cava to fall back on…
A Drop In The Ocean
Nothing will seem more insignificant than your ex when you’ll battling the might of Atlantic ocean armed with only a 2m piece of plastic. Enrol at the Berbere surf camp in Morocco and not only can you spend every day receiving expert tuition at arguably the world’s most sexy sport, but you’ll be surrounded by amazing scenery and the local customs of the indigenous Berbere people. And if you don’t fall in love with Mother Nature and the ocean, then there’s always those superfit surfing instructors to sidle up to.
If you need a complete a mental rehab, how about locking yourself up in a Thai monastery – for a minimum of 10 days – where orange-clad monks will half starve you to death whilst encouraging you to achieve 8 or 9 hours of meditation per day? Just outside Chiang mai, the 15th Century shrine of Wat Rampoeng offers meditation lessons along with a set of rules that makes Her Majesty’s guests at Whitemoor seem privileged, on your painful path to enlightenment. If that particular brand of catharsis doesn’t sound like your cup of tea then you could opt for the opposite Thai treatment… Bangkok’s finest ladyboys are just down the road.
So that just about covers our vacations and travel breaks for the broken hearted. The next time you find yourself in Dumpsville, don’t mope about on the sofa; take some time off work and jump on the ex tourism trend. New environment, new skills, new people… being single could be the best thing that ever happened to you. And you never know, some time away might from home might just have the ex begging to get back with you… especially if he’s a pathetic weasel like John Terry. Just say no Toni!